Emerson suggests that genuine friendship cannot be produced simply by deliberate selection. People may believe they choose their friends, but lasting friendship depends on mutual affinity, trust and recognition. In this sense, friends are “self-elected” because the relationship emerges when two people independently recognise a meaningful connection with one another.

Within Friendship, the statement reflects Emerson’s broader view that close relationships should develop freely rather than through obligation, calculation or social convenience. Friendship requires reciprocity: one person cannot establish the bond alone, however strongly they may wish to do so. Emerson therefore presents friendship as something discovered as much as chosen. The quotation draws attention to the spontaneous and mutual character of genuine attachment, suggesting that enduring friendships arise when both people recognise value in the relationship and willingly participate in it.