Emerson argues that friendship is created through conduct rather than simply desired or expected from others. To have a friend, a person must first practise the qualities associated with friendship: loyalty, openness, generosity, trust and a willingness to take another person seriously. The statement therefore shifts attention from what one hopes to receive towards what one is prepared to contribute.

Within Friendship, the idea reflects Emerson’s broader view that genuine relationships depend on reciprocity and character. Friendship cannot be secured through demand, possession or social convenience; it develops when each person approaches the other with sincerity and respect. The quotation does not imply that kindness always guarantees friendship in return. Rather, it presents friendship as something that must be enacted before it can be meaningfully shared. Emerson’s emphasis is therefore on personal responsibility within relationships and on becoming capable of offering the qualities one values in others.